When you can’t feel the ground beneath your feet

IMG_7431IMG_7428  IMG_7432 IMG_7436 IMG_7437 IMG_7438These pictures freak me the freak out. I didn’t realize until taking the photos how high they actually were! But I love it.

These photos capture something beautiful. My children’s trust in their father.

They are able to soar into the air without an ounce of worry, because they know beyond doubt that their daddy will catch them. And that trust is their pathway to joy.

I’ve been thinking alot about faith recently. Really trusting the Lord that He is sovereign and that His ways are better. And I’ve come to wonder something. Do we avoid opportunities to let Jesus be our all in all? Do we avoid opportunities to let Jesus be our children’s all in all?

We live in a time of keeping our ducks in a row and always being prepared. We want to have it all together. We want a plan, and should that plan go awry we have back up plans and insurance plans. We safeguard against finding ourselves in a situation where we don’t have within ourselves the answer or the means for solving a problem. And I’m beginning to wonder if we rob ourselves of really seeing God’s power to provide. And ultimately coming to understand that He himself is Provision.

It’s time for our family to take a step of faith. I laugh to myself, because I know from the Lord’s view it’s a tiny, wee baby step, while to us it feels like a leap off of a cliff. But whether big or small it’s a step of obedience. And even in this little step of surrender, I still want to control it. I have basically been trying to get all of our ducks in a row before I feel comfortable stepping out. Let me line things up just right, and then-“Your will be done, Lord.”

If I can’t take a step of faith until everything is perfectly planned out, and my life is perfectly insured, that’s not faith.

Why do we want so desperately to be self sufficient? Lemme get my house, my car, my alarm system, my furniture, and my savings plan ready, and then I will follow you Lord. It makes me laugh at myself.

The Bible tells us He wants a mustard seed. That’s it! A tiny little mustard seed of faith, and He will move the mountain. And I realize sometimes I don’t have even that. But I want it.

I want different eyes. Eyes of faith to see that when we don’t have a couch and I don’t see a way for us to get one, that the Lord wants to either provide a couch or show me that I am just fine without a couch!

Faith is not believing that everything in this world is going to work out perfectly in my favor and nothing bad or hard will ever happen to me. It’s believing He is enough regardless. That He is my all in all. That I need absolutely no other anchors. That faith and surrender go hand in hand.

And I know – it is written on my soul – that this is the pathway to joy.

8 thoughts on “When you can’t feel the ground beneath your feet

  1. Allison, You are on the Right Path. When I studied the Attributes of God, I knew better how to Trust Him. Love you, Grammy

  2. I’m so glad you are recording your reflections on your journey here. Your deep thoughts challenge and encourage the rest of us. 🙂

  3. I love reading your blog and seeing your precious family. We were talking about this same topic in Sunday school yesterday. We talked about ways we try to block our own faith. And today, the versus from Our Daily Bread were talking about not loving things of this world. I feel like God is trying to tell me something. Thank you for sharing your thoughts! You are definitely not alone in trying to always have even a mustard seed size faith!

    • Thank you so much for your sweet comment! It means so much to know others are sorting through the same things in this christian walk! I looooove your blog too! Your little Millie is presh. Can’t wait to see about little brother’s arrival!

    • Haha, yeah. I guess the couch tidbit is pretty confusing without the background to what we’ve been sorting through. But short version-we are thinking about moving. And have no furniture since the house sitting gig is furnished 🙂

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